Unlike playing a musical instrument, surfing or clay molding, writing has become the one hobby choice that all other hobbyists feel entitled to comment on. Often enough people think it’s perfectly normal — some might even say socially acceptable — to ask hobbyist writers invasive questions concerning personal matters like that bare no relevance to anything in particular.

I write because I don’t know what I am thinking, until I read it…”

Because of the invasiveness and general skepticism toward the art/craft/job of writing, writers get a whole lot of irritating questions thrown their way. Some are presumptuous, some are rude, some are ignorant, and some are only annoying because they’re just so unbearably predictable. Here are the questions writers get time and again.

  • “IS this character you have written about secretly you?”

This existentially haunted vampire with waist-length blonde hair and a thick Russian accent? Yes. That’s me. The one named “Ivan.”

  • “What DO you write about?”

What do I write about… creatively? (“Creepy children.”) What do I write about professionally? (“Corn farmer insurance.”) What do I write about pretentiously? (“The intersection between the female body and fire hydrants.”) I don’t know what you want from me.

  • “But Like what is your full time job?

I am Dexter by day …

  • “Can I read some of it?”

Sure. Let me read your budget… and look at your child while he’s sleeping. That should make us even.

  • “Does anyone even read anymore?”

Apparently not, catching Pokemon appears to be more popular now

  • “I have the perfect idea for your next blog, You can only credit me a little”

I’ll get right on that, J.K. Rowling Jr.

  • “Where do you get your ideas from?”

I brew a special potion with the hearts and eyes of clueless people who ask me these questions 🙂